Tuesday, November 17, 2015

F@#kers I Hate At Games (a.k.a FIHAGs)

"You guys don't understand! My finger hurts really, really badly!"
I really wish I could take credit for the creation of this term. Unfortunately, Dan from Fear the Boot beat me to the punch. The term FIHAG, as the title of this post illustrates, is an acronym for "Fucker I Hate At Games". 

This is the person who you hate to game with for one reason or another. They do something so annoying that you'd rather shove your head into a box filled to the brim with rabid rats than roleplay with them.  Give me the option of either having my balls repeatedly kicked with a steel-toed boot or roll some dice with this fucker, and I'll eagerly spread my legs and tell you to "Go ahead." 

Everyone has a FIHAG or two. The antics of these individuals have been burned into your brain, making it incredibly difficult for you to force them out so you can remember something useful like complex math or your significant other's birthday. You might not remember the FIHAG's actual name, but you definitely remember the action that damned them in your mind and have given them a title reflecting that. For example, here are a few of mine:

THE CHALLENGER
The Challenger goes by many different names: The Rules Lawyer, the Setting Lawyer, or the Science/History Lawyer. The Challenger is the person who will challenge the Game Master on every, little thing. "Actually, I believe the bonus for grappling a giant he's sleeping on a bed of large rocks is a +3 instead of a +2. That would be obvious if you read that one sourcebook from that one 3rd party company," or "That incredibly obscure NPC would never do that! They did something that completely contradicts that in one even more obscure novel written by A. R. Spazalore! How could you not know that!" 

THE AGENT OF CHAOS
There are some people who just want to watch the world burn, and they also seem to have a lighter ready to set the first fire. These are the people who will do something because it would be "funny", throwing monkey wrenches in every single situation they possibly can. The only seem to have fun when they can sew chaos and ruin any chance you have at having a serious and productive game. It's okay to have fun, but the Agent of Chaos' fun comes at the expense of the other players and the cohesion of the game itself. 

FRIENDS I WANT AT GAMES (A.K.A. FIWAGS)
FIWAGS are the counter-point to FIHAGS. These are the people that you want at the gaming table. They're the players who keep you coming back to each session and are a joy to play with. Everyone has a couple of FIHAGs, but they have a handful of FIWAGs as well. They could be the players who are always excited to grab some dice and explore a new part of the world, or the player who is willing to try anything and will go with the flow of the game. 

Although this post is about FIHAGS, I feel like I should discuss the opposite side as well. The FIWAGs are what make tabletop gaming an entertaining hobby. However, I would be lying if I said I didn't like bitching about FIHAGs more. 

WHO ARE YOUR FIHAGS & FIWAGS?
Now it's your turn. Who are your FIHAGs & FIWAGs? What is the trait you either hate or like about them? Why do you hate or like this trait so much? Leave your answers in the comments blow. I'd love to know.